A few additional points about dealing with difficult people:
"What key points, as you leave, do you want to be sure to remember and use?" Two comments from workshop participants:
2. "[I want to be sure to use] those Win-Win Negotiation points."
Comments from Bruce:
1. Difficult people are not the problem. The problem starts if I ignore the others. When difficult people show up, how do I deal with them sincerely, yet not give away all the attention that the others -- and the issues of many others -- also deserve?
2. Don't get hooked. Those who sabotage often have more energy for that than I do. Whether I get charged up or demoralized by battles, the battles must not become the main point. I need to build the major energy for the non-confrontational, maybe tedious, work of real progress.
3. Be open to success. A good outcome is rarely world-changing, rarely immediate, and rarely the same as your original plan. A reasonable goal may be that 1) no one is permanently scarred and 2) we each achieve something we want. This is a crucial starting point for many of the methods for dealing with difficult people.